another downer post.

yeah, yeah. i know. my blog is just one bummer post after another these days. but it's very therapeutic for me to write things down so that i can read them later. so this is mostly for me. i've been pretty bummed out lately. the prospects of school starting and me going back to work (for the 1st time in almost 5 months) has got me totally bummed out. i will miss my kids like crazy!! moses will only be in half day kindergarten but he's like my best friend, we do everything together!! it's been such a great summer spending every minute with my monsters i don't really want it to end. this week they go to their grandmas for the week....that's right a WHOLE WEEK. most moms would be thrilled...and i know i will enjoy the first day...maybe two and then i will probably make a trip to grandmas myself and spend the rest of the week with them. OH and i'm planning a baby shower. i'm having fun doing it & i wouldn't want anyone else to do for this particular friend, it just brings up feelings out of nowhere. her and i were suppose to be on this journey together, but my trip got cut short. i am so thankful for her healthy pregnancy, just bummed at my failed one. i am healing. emotionally & physically. yes, still having a few issues. when these issues arise it turns me into a crazy person. i hate the reminder of what happened and that i'm not back to "normal" yet. lets just say that my husband deserves the "husband of the year award" he has put up with so much crazy while dealing with his own feelings. so, to sum things up. i am grateful for my boys, my husband & anxiously awaiting the arrival of baby chloe. keep praying for me. thanks