i hate it!

i hate that in this world you almost have to rely on money.
i hate that i have none.
i hate even more that i need it.
i hate that its always out of reach.
i hate that i have taken the time to hate it.
i hate the thought of my kids have the same struggles one day.
i hate debt.
i hate guilt.
i hate money!

oh and by the way, this is the definition of hate: intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury
yeah, it's a "strong" word. but i mean it this time!!!

having a hoot at curlew

here we are almost a week later and i am finally going to tell (and show) you about our trip to republic to stay at curlew lake's fisherman's cove resort (the word "resort" is used very loosely) it is about a 6 hour drive from our house but with 2 little kids it took us more like 8 hours. only because we met up with jakes parents in leavenworth. first we hung out at a fruit stand/petting zoo place for about an hour and then we went out to lunch before hitting the road.

so nice to be out of the car!!

stretching those legs!

aww what a cute little apple!

he'd make a good farmer

leavenworth is a beautiful place!

so as the trip continued on we were really hoping to get a long nap out of moses...

...we got a nap out of him, but it only lasted about 45 minuets

and then finally we arrived in republic!!!
(of course it was another 10 min to our cabin)

going for a walk

hanging out in our cabin!

my little fisherman

fishing breece's

moses doesn't really care if he has his swimming trunks on or not!
he just jumped right in shoes, coat and all!

the bath in the sink was almost as much fun as the lake

the view from our cabin

solly and his grandma played a LOT of bored games all weekend long!

waiting to go fishing in the boat
(too bad he changed his mind once he got in the boat)

whats that? did jake catch a fish?
nope. just lake weed.

big mama driving the boat.

yummy!!!
grandpa and solly roasting marshmallows
(a daisy in the background)

bored fisherman

solly and maya
(yes that's a pine cone in the dogs mouth, solly has one in his pocket too)

it was a really boring weekend. but that just what we were hoping for. it took jake a day to figure out how to just sit and enjoy himself. and now that we're home all he wants to do is go fishing. soon jake, soon.
it was nice to have a lot of family time. but it's even nicer to be home.

oh and of course we managed to spend a whole 4 days together without getting a single picture of the 4 of us together...some day.

in the words of liz lemon....

...OH BLERG!!!

the past few days have just been weird. i have been in a foul mood, moses has been acting like a crazy person, my dishwasher barfed suds ALL over my kitchen and to make matters worse jake is depressed!!

i have gotten over the my issues from my last blog.

i'm just hoping for a better day tomorrow!!!

how?

did i call my closest friends? tell them in person? did i e-mail them?

i wish i could remember...

...so i knew if i had the "right" to be upset about this.

a weeks worth of pictures.

so, even though jakes birthday was over 2 weeks ago. he just got his birthday present last monday. his loving wife (with the help of his mother and mother-in-law) got him an ipod touch. being the funny, witty person i am i had "big jake's book & bible" engraved on the back. you see jake has always (or at least since high school) wanted to open a book store and a few years ago he and i decided it should be named "big jake's book & bible" he could have a sign with a big cheesy picture of himself sporting a big thumbs up!

isn't it pretty?

monday was also roses actual birthday. we hung around the house being bored for a good part of he day

making horse faces while trying to take your own picture is harder than you might think!

then we went to the mall to try to find rose some new jeans...no such luck. so we played in the kiddy play area instead.

oh no! the hippo is eating my boys!

there were some very annoying kids running (and jumping) around the play area.

you can see the annoying girl in the background
this was roses attempt to keep that girl away from me
(she kept jumping over this thing and almost kicking me every time)

(*i have no idea what i did on tuesday...?*)
then on wednesday after dropping solly off at school jake, moses and i went for a drive. we ended up at mud mt. dam and it turns out at 9am NO ONE else is there!! it was GREAT!!!

lot's a fun

and of course moses just HAD to go swimming while we were there:
(that water was FREEZING!)

so later that day i got the boys their own pool
(since it was about 90º out side :P)

then of course thursdays is youth group. solly, mosey and i all went and hung out for most of the night we had a ton of fun!!

mosey hitchin a ride

who let jake have the camera?

could this kid be any cooler?

solly thinks he's in high school sometimes i think.
(the cried when it was time to leave)

friday. moses and i picked up solly from school early and headed to whidby island to see jakes parents for the night.

as annoying as it is to take a ferry, but it's really pretty

while on whidby island, the in-laws church was hosting an african children's choir. they are from an orphanage type thing called watoto (pronounced wa-toe-toe, it means "children" in swahili) they were AH-amzing!!! i could just look at them all day they are beautiful and so sweet!!!

this is solomon with seth and moses
(yes! another person named moses!!!)

moses & moses (and a little bit of seth)

then on saturday morning, while getting ready to go at a ladies tea with my mother-in-law, i burnt...scratch that! i FRIED the boys breakfast!!

oops!

moses and grandpa went for a little ride on the lawn mower.

moses wasn't too sure about it

and solly waited for his turn

he got to do 99% of the driving

we wrapped up saturday with dinner at ivar's, then a walk out on the pier to watch people fish...and also watch the ferry boats

solly with his menu on his face

grandpa with is boys

and then made the long trip home with some tired boys...to see our favorite person, DADDY!!! we were all so glad to see each other!
sunday. after chuch i hauled tooshie up to south hill to see an old friend at her baby shower. her and her husband are going through the process of becoming foster parents with hopes to adopt down the road.

thank goodness she hasn't changed!
i love paula!!

who wants cake??

after i got home from the shower, the boys and i went out to have a nutritious dinner...at mcdonalds. followed by ice cream and then grocery shopping.

yummy!

i think he wanted more ice cream
sorry babe, you ate yours too fast!

moses thought something was funny!

mommy & solly

jake "borrowed" mosey's ice cream to lick the drips... moses was not ammused!

and that was what i did with the last week of my life.
today, my mom and i did some gardening today. and let me tell you, i HATE gardening. i would rather do just about anything else!! both my front and back gardens look great now...i would just rather someone else take care of them from now on :) stay tuned for pictures of the garden!

the understatement on the year:

i have fallen off the wagon.

this is such a crude understatement!! by falling off the wagon i mean i hurled myself off the front and was then run over by the entire caravan of wagons. so i am picking my self up and now i have to chase down the wagon and climb back on.
i was doing so good for quite a while! i was sticking to my ashley diet and then rachel was my self appointed drill sergent and it all just came crumbling down around me! i miss water and feeling hunger every once in a while. i REALLY miss hiking and even getting up early to workout. i hate feeling like a slob. and gaining some of that weight back really makes me feel like such a loser.
but it's time to get back at it.

wish me luck...i'm gonna need it

.

it aint my birfday...

it may be rose's actual birthday today...but i am having a party for me! a pity party that is. i am missing friends. i am so thankful to have rose in my life and SO glad that she is visiting me on her birthday. but i can't help but think about my other friends lately... the ones that seem to busy for me, the ones that seem to live so far away that they stopped with the bother of trying to get together with me, and even the friends that i have not seen (and some that i have not talked to outside of facebook or email) in years. today (with the exception of my rose) i am missing my friends.
so today i say happy birthday heavy metal!!! and poor me :'(